A guy comes down to Earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him, and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to hide the eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, “When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off”?

—Jon Stewart

[Judy Brown, ed., Joke Stew, (Kansas City, MO, USA: Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2000), 135.]